More Funny Southern Sayings and Southernisms From Readers

About an expensive store

My mom would say, Their prices were as high as a cat's back.

More nervous than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs

More confused than a cricket in a hub cap

Worse off than a half fucked Fox in a forest fire

I love Virginia hahaha

"Busier than a one-armed monkey with two peckers" always made me laugh.

one my grandma always says is "she threw a hissy conniption with a crocheted tail" also another that my great grandfater always said was, "Cant never could do a damn thing." A coworker once said she was "hungry enough to eat the landin' gear out a buzzard" and my great grandma would say "taint' hard just tedious"

I've also heard the following:

"Cuter than a bug's ear" (little and cute)

"Knee high to a grasshopper" (short)

"More scarce than hen's teeth" (rare)

"Madder than an ole wet hen" (very mad)

"Pinchin' pennies til they scream" (tight with money)

"Crooked as a dog's hind leg" (a shady person)

Here's a few sayins ya ain't seen on here

Ain't worth a hill-a-beans (ain't worth nothin)

Ain't got a Canndles chance in hell (ya ain't got a chance)

What about, "Gimme some sugar", when your Grandma or other woman wants kisses and hugs. Usually asked of little ones only.

Lord willin and the creek don't rise means: A high probability for an event to occur

My mom used to say, "If you keep that up I am going to stomp a mud hole in you and walk it dry."

Love this!!!

Thought I might add, "... Back when Moby Dick was a guppy!" referring to knowing someone for a long time.

I love these Southernisms .. they reveal a good down-to-earth sense of humour. There's also a very refreshing sense of level-headedness that strikes me even though I'm from Europe.

Incidentally, I've always wondered why in every American song that involves a train ride, the train is *always* heading South. Nobody ever sings about travelling up North ... they're forever heading down to Dixie. It's almost as if the South is everyone's roots and "home".

I tell ya that thar is finer'n frog hair split four ways! I laughed m'self silly readin' all there h'yar sayin's on how we speak down yonder on t'farm.

Bless yur heart!

I'm not from the South, and neither are my folks. But between stuff my folks used to say, and hearing these funny expressions from others, quite a few of these Southernisms are familiar. I guess they have slowly made their way across the Mason-Dixon line ...

One of my faves is from Steel Magnolias: "You know I'd rather walk on my lips than criticize anybody ..." (Which is, of course, the opposite of true! )

And then there's radio personality Roy D. Mercer: "How 'bout I open up a can of whup-ass on ya?"

Thanks for a fun tour of Southern eloquence.

My father always used a lot of these when I was growing up, though with some slight variations. For instance: 'Colder 'n a witch's tit 'n Alaska' which I learned later originally referred to an oil well in Alaska, and 'Cold enough to freeze the ball's off'n a brass monkey' which is actually an old naval saying referring to iron cannon balls stacked on a brass frame with wheels. Apparently, brass contracts faster than iron so when it got really cold the balls would fall off and roll around the deck. Oh, and I'll add another I didn't see here, 'Stinking to High Heaven!' which could refer to something very smelly or something/someone/a deal not to be trusted. --Thanks for this site! Loved the trip down memory lane.

I have only heard a couple of these before, although I think that there are some great ones to know in this article.

Here's a few I ain't seen on here.. Ther purty bad haha.

Slicker than snot on a handrail

Or

Slicker than minners dick

He don't know beans from bullsh*t

Hotter than a possums cod

I'll thump your wig (which means imma whoop ur ass)

Happier than a hog eatin slop

I'm starved half stupid ( which means I'm reeeeaaalllly hungry)

I remember the first time my husband took me to see his grandmother. She kept telling him about a woman who "fell off". When we got in the car, I asked, "What did that woman fall off of and is she alright?" He explained that it meant she lost weight.

Hurry up y'all; yer slower'n dead lice!

Hahahaha in love.Man, i can't breath. Hshaha kisses from a fan here in Spain!

You missed the most important one....ROLL TIDE YALL

When my grandmother and mother got frustrated they would always say that we were "as useless as tits on a bull".

Yankee expressions....hmmmm, well Stephanie, here in my part of NY State, 90% of our expressions are profanity ad they're directed at POLITICIANS!!! LOL

Stephanie, I would encourage you to do a hub on Yankee expressions. I don't get up north very often, so I would love to read them. We love humor of any kind down here in the South.

Stephanie.....I'm so glad I came across this older hub! I love it. Thanks for the good, healthy laugh.

I have some friends who came from the deep South and they are quite a source of entertainment due to their accent and expressions!

Great hub, Stephanie...Up+++

Well, I reckon that's mighty neighborly of you to say so, if your picking up what I'm putting down? I gotta say it is more the way they say it than what they say that tickles my fancy.

Its like a British accent, everybody loves they way the Brits talk and I just love the way Southerners express themselves.

C'mon y'all, I'll carry you to the Piggly Wiggly!

As a transplanted Southerner, I am always entertained at work by all the sayings that these folks have and came across your article when searching for sayings about how hot it is. I'm thinking that 'slap your momma' could work for how hot it is, 'cuz if I ever slapped my momma she would be hot.

Having lived here for ten years and just recently bought a house in the country of Tennessee, folks are saying that I need to work on my 'over yonders' and 'reckons'. Now I may never be so country I think a seven course meal is a possum and a six pack but when in Rome . . . I reckon ya gotta talk like a Greek or something like that.

Now I don't live over yonder in the holler,and you won't find grits on my plate but I reckon I can throw in y'all and shonuff once and a while.

Someone who is not very smart:

He's not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.

Someone who is frugal:

He's tighter than a tick's ear

Thoroughly enjoyed your Hub and your reader comments.

This was sooooo funny, and was a delightful way to get insight into southern culture. Great hub. And now I know, there is no cream in buttermilk. Furthermore, having killed a few roaches with alcohol, I appreciate the saying, "acting crazier than a sprayed cockroach." Excellent hub.

You look like death suckin' on a lifesaver.

You make my a-- want to suck a lemon.

Same Song, Second Verse.

Six of one, half dozen of the other.

Tighter than Dick's hat band.

Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

I love these!! It reminds me of the strange German slang my Grandpa used to use when I was a kid. Each culture, region, etc has their own sayings, words and phrases that are unique.

...i teach the Yanks to say, "ya'll come back now, ya hear?"

Thanks for this hub. What a delight to read. Great contributors here.

One of my favorites that my Granny used to say was "I wouldn't mess with that ole boy. He looks like he could beat a bear with a switch". When I was in trouble, my Mom used to say we were about to have a "come to Jesus meeting". And for those days that are just too much you can say "I don't know if I found a rope or lost a horse". Also someone who complained too much, you would say "they would bitch if they were hung with a new rope".

A sixteen year military (Army) wife, I lived in the South for ... seventeen years...

I have heard most all of these expressions in that time...

brought back warm and dear memories

and brought a broad smile to my face!

Thank you for this... again, delightful!

Having grown up in Mississippi, I could soooo relate to your hub and all these comments. Many of them brought back fand memories of childhood.

I just thought of another one that I still hear, but I don't recall seeing in your hubs. I think it is also a common saying in the West. "He came at me." It differs from "he came toward me" which means that someone is traveling in your direction, but you paths may not intercept. "He came at me" means there was a collision or there will be unless you manage to get out of the way. After an accident you might hear someone say, "officer, he came at me so fast I couldn't stop."

It can also mean that something is charging you. "The bull came at me so fast I had to jump the fence."

Just thought of this one when I saw someone "coming at me" in heavy traffic. Thankfully, he saw me in time and stopped because I couldn't have gotten out of his way.

Yes, I did! I did enjoy this one! *chuckle*

I also think that a “buggy” in the UK means the same- a shopping cart. Hmm...interesting! And, I hope no one takes Marcy Goodfleisch' words literally: "I'll kill you & swear you died" and "If you don't stop, I'll tear your arm off and beat you to death with the bloody stump." -- or it could mean real trouble. Lol! :)

Thank you for this very entertaining read on this beautiful Saturday afternoon that I am home.

Here are a few more Southern gems:

Hoopty (old car)

They're having a big to-do at the church tonight!

Whoopin' and a-hollerin'

Heeeerrre, chick, chick, chick! chick! (calling chickens)

I am hungry enough to bite a hook. Actually, I could eat a wet mule.

Soo-ee! Soo-ee! (calling hogs)

He's as drunk as Cooda Brown.

___________________

"Vittles will be on the table in a minute, Paw."

"What we having, hon?

"Milk'n braid.

I enjoyed all!

Howdy Stephanie (Stephanie Henkel) -

Enjoyed the funny sayings. One of my favorite sayings is the one I bumped into on my first venture into the southern states...

"Y'all c'mon back, heah?" That was an impressive introduction to southern hospitality.

Gus :-)))

I felt like I was watching an episode of Reba while I was reading some of these sayings! I also noticed a few of these sayings just from a trip to the grocery store. Haha! Awesome hub! :)

Being from the down here in the land of those who have a twang, I have heard many of these but like having them readily accessible so I amaze, annoy, and astound my friends and family :)

Keep 'em coming, Stephanie. :) ps Angels are on the way this evening.

I love reading all these "southern sayings"! Being from Texas and Oklahoma, I have heard almost all of them! I may have to use some of the new ones! Thanks for sharing all of these! (My hubby couldn't believe I actually explained the "dry farts" saying! LOL Voted this up and more! :)

Love this second edition as much as I loved the first one.

When I moved from NY to Delaware a decade ago, I was in the habit of always being in a rush and my new friends told me to, "Take it easy. You're in lower, slower, Delaware, now." LOL

I much prefer the southern way of taking things slow and easy.

Hub Hugs,

Gail

My grandma use to have a Southern saying about girls in the cotton fields with boys. For the life of me I can't think of what she said. I keep hoping my mother or aunts will remember. Cute hub enjoyed it.

LMAO...I swear, Stephanie, I almost wet my pants laughing at this one. Some I have heard but, being a Northerner, most I had not heard, and they are too damn funny! We have some comedians on HubPages for sure, but nothing is as funny as the real life stuff that these Hubbers came up with. Thank you for a great, great laugh!

LoL I had to laugh at these and although I'm from the midwest I've heard a great number of them. I did have distant relatives that were from more southern areas. I remember hearing once someone was "sharp as a bowlin ball" lol that stuck with me. So many of these made me laugh and my mom would always talk about people being a few bricks shy of a load when I was growing up :) lol very funny voted up and shared.

Oh my goodness! So funny! When I moved here to NC, I had such trouble understanding people. Now my own family in Colorado says I sound like I'm from the South. LOL. I've heard many of those sayings. Round here in Western NC, I hear "I'm gone do that" or "jab at it, with a pointy stick!" I've heard a bunch...I knowed I did. ;)

Stephaine, this was so entertaining! I really enjoyed reading all of these great sayings. I'm going to make it a point to read the other hub as well. My grandmother had a favorite one when referring to her childhood,

we were so poor, we didn't have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out from.

I was in high school when Tennessee Ernie Ford had his TV show. Bless his pea pickin' heart.

This is very funny Ms. Stephanie. Now that it is fall and winter is coming, it will soon be colder than a witches ti_. Well, I gots to go and make hay while the sun is still shining. :) Thanks for the chuckle.

Hi Stephanie, all these sayings are new to me - loved them all, fantastic!!

A big vote up from me!

My mom says colder than a witch's tiddy. And all of my relatives say ch'ren instead of children. But nonetheless everyone has their own way of saying the same thing! Awesome hub!

Love it! Thank you. My sister lives in Louisiana. They have this word "aigh"(like clearing throat). I thought it meant alright. but it could mean almost anything.

Ya mean, all folks don't talk like that!

Funny hub, Stephanie! Thanx for the chuckes.

Voted up and across the board! I'm puzzled by some of these sayings... "Raise the window down!" I'm still trying to figure out what that could mean. Oh well, this was definitely a fun read. Now I have "some" idea of what I could say when I visit my Aunt Debbie again! Sharing this, too :)

Hilarious Stephanie! This was really brilliant:)

I don't know if you have heard, "not the sharpest tool in the shed"...or my personal fav when someone announces they are leaving a place, "don't let the doorknob hit 'cha where the good lord split 'cha"...ahahahaha

Wow there are some really ugly ones, glad I never hear those. Guess my south is more country, we have some funnies but they are all clean. My granny would roll over in her grave if she heard some of these! lol

Hi Stephanie,

Everything said in your hub is new to me but I found it very interesting. The expressions are unique and make an excellent read. It's nice to know about different cultures and what goes on in other parts of the world. Really enjoyed reading your hub. Sharing, pinning and tweeting too.

Cheers, Rema.

These sayings are awesome! Made my day

Stephanie, I read this one first, then I went back and read your first one. I didn't see "anybody's dog that wants to hunt" (used in reference to politicians, promiscuous women, or anybody who agrees with everyone -- or "she has a face that would stop an 8-day clock (self explanatory). For a lazy person we say that "he's not worth the powder it would take to blow him to hell." I love Southern folklore so much I took a class in it at the university. Voted both your hubs up ++.

PS, Love your photos, too.

This was such a fun and funny hub to read. Loved it!

Ah, Stephanie, you're funnier than an electric switch in a candle factory. I like to make these things up.

I enjoyed the hub :-)

Made me feel like I was sittin' at the kitchen table at grandma's house in Oklahoma! Great job, Stephanie! :)

I'm always glad to read your Southern sayings: it gives us Southern folks some class!

Great addition to your other one......

I voted this UP, will share, Pin and Tweet.

This hub is just as good as the first with of course the added attractions from other readers. As they say, "well butter my butt and all me a biscuit" this is funny!

Voted up, funny, and interesting.

Wonderful additions to the Southernisms lexicon. What a hoot!

when I go south and I will read these off. Very funny and enjoyed reading this a lot. Voted UP.

Stephanie, I am a Yankee through and through being born and raised in NYC, but I always loved the Southern speech patterns and sayings. Growing up I truly loved the movie Gone with the Wind and could recite lines from that movie like nobody's business. You actually listed one of my favorites here with "Kiss my Grits!!" Yes I watched the show Alice, when it was on TV and loved the character of Flo and just got a nice mental image when reading this article. Anyways, awesome list and have voted, shared and tweeted.