More Funny Southern Sayings and Southernisms From Readers
Southernisms and Funny Southern Sayings
Well, doggone it, I must have started something when I wrote my first article on southern sayings! Those Southerners, bless their pea pickin’ hearts, just popped up out of the cornfield with a whole passel of sayings that I had never heard before. Sayings that came from their old Daddy or Mama, Grandma or Aunt Sadie and were carried on in family tradition spreading across the country and even up into Yankee country.
For your enjoyment, I’ve collected some of the Southernisms (that really is a word, y’all!) and funny Southern sayings that were left in the comments section of my article: Funny Southern Sayings - Meaning of Southern Expressions. Thank you everyone who added to my collection of funny Southern sayings!
I hope you get as much of a chuckle out of these additional funny Southern sayings as I did.
Sayings About Being Slow
So we're off like a herd of turtles with Sherry Hewins, whose Texas mom says,
- You're slower than cream rising on buttermilk. For those of you who never lived down on the farm, there is no cream on buttermilk!
Southern Heat
Two of our favorite Tammies like these funny sayings about being hot:
Tammyswallow says,
- It is hotter than two rats f%$^**(&^ in a wool sock.
- It is hotter than a jalepeno's cutchie. ...That is pretty hot!
tammybarnette says,
- It's hotter than forty hells in here...
- I'm sweating like a whore in church.
Southernisms from Way Back
mollymeadows has a few interesting Southernisms from her family:
- A crowded room is "working alive".
- A freezing morning is "cold as a wedge."
- A man and women who are having an argument can be said to have "fit."
- If they "foughten," it means they were throwing chairs.
PurvisBobbi44 has an aunt who really did say,
- Kiss my grits!
Expressions From Transplanted Southerners
Lilleyth discovered that
- A “buggy” is a shopping cart.
Denise Handlon found that
- Knee babies are toddlers.
- And “tea” can only mean Southern style sweet tea!
Favorite Southern Sayings
If something is really, really, good, FreezeFrame34 says,
- That’s so good, it makes me wanna slap my mamma! (No joke, Yankees, this saying is also the basis for brand of seasonings, Slap Ya Mamma!)
robie2 has two favorite Southern sayings,
- slicker than sh*t on a hoe handle.
- She was nervous as a whore in church.
RedElf explains his favorite saying,
- We done plowed this furrow clean down to the bedrock! Time to rest the mule, Ma. Translation: We've already discussed this - let's move on...
Marcy Goodfleisch has a list:
- I'll kill you & swear you died.
- If you don't stop, I'll tear your arm off and beat you to death with the bloody stump (a favorite of frustrated moms when kids are being wild)
- It was a bird's nest on the ground. (it was easy - a piece of cake - fell into his hands)
- Half a brick short of a load
- Fixin' to go.
- Let's call a spade a shovel
Are You From the South?
Are you a Southerner
MarcusJ tells about his uncle,
- …When he was angry with us kids and about to dispense some country discipline on us would say "Boy, I'm about to cloud up and rain all over you"
WD Curry 111
- Is a five pound robin fat (apparently, it’s obvious!)
- If you are feeling froggy . . . jump! If you want to fight . . . make a move.
- I think you are as fine as frogs hair, and as sweet as Cleopatra's wine. That’s a complement!)
KCap adds these colorful sayings,
- He is as happy as a pig in poop.
- I didn't just fall off the turnip truck. I'm not that gullible.
- My Dad likes to mix this with I wasn't born yesterday and say "I didn't just fall off the turnip truck yesterday"
- Lunch puppy. Someone who eats a lot.
- Lord willing and the creek don't rise. I will do my best.
- I feel like a can of mashed assholes. I'm hungover.
Nasty Habit from West Virginia added these knee slappers the list:
- It takes money to ride the train and drink likker. Can't afford whatever yer wantin' to buy.
- It won't be long now, said the cat when they cut off its tail. About having patience.
- It'll make yer liver quiver and yer bladder splatter. About something funny or surprising.
- Don't get yer bowels in an uproar, yer kidneys in a downpour and yer liver in a jar. Calm down.
- "It will make yer tongue slap yer brains out." Delicious!
Talk about Slow and Ugly!
xstatic say that an old friend used to say,
- He ain't good lookin' but he sure is dumb.
- And his mama said, "She is so ugly, her face would turn sweet milk to clabber (sour)."
sgbrown finally explains the popcorn fart:
- Now, regarding the "popcorn fart". My hubby and I agreed on this: Popcorn is very dry and gives your gas. Thus, dryer than a popcorn fart. Now...Eatin' greens might give you "wet farts", so be careful there!
JayeWisdom claims she's “a deep-fried Southerner”, and reminds us of these popular Southern expressions:
- Pshaw!
- That dog won’t hunt.
prektjr.dc says,
- It's handier than a shirt on a pocket!
Haint's are explained:
Georgie Lowery, a Southerner transplanted to Yankee territory informs us,
- A 'haint' is a ghost, or a haunt. One thing I do remember about the people who were really old when I was a kid, was that if you put a colander under the bed, the haint would get confused. It would have to stop and count all the holes in it before it could mess with you. (My best friend, who is also a southerner, said that it was the same with witches. People would often put something with a lot of holes for the witch to count by keyholes in doors and in chimneys.)
Hillbilly77 contributed some great Alabama Southernisms:
- A strong fart in a whirlwind would blow him away. Referring to an extremely thin person.
- Lost as last year's Easter egg. Confused.
- Got on a frog, Farted.
- Slicker than greased owl s#$t. Something looks nice or has a smooth surface. Can also be used to describe con-artists, scoundrels, and silk-tongued lawyers.
- Useless as hen-sh%&t on a pump handle. Someone not very intelligent.
- Hotter than a pepper sprout. Very hot.
- Did it in a fever. Made an uninformed, rash decision.
Whitney adds:
- You're going to hell on a scholarship...a full ride to hell.
- She's so fat if she had to haul ass she'd have to make 2 trips.
- She's so skinny she'd fall through her ass and hang herself.
And from Michelle's Southern Gran:
- He has less sense than you could slap on a gnats a$$ with a butter paddle!
- He's nothing but a facified fart! - someone not worth your time,
Old Favorite Terms
Crazy:
- Actin’ crazier than a sprayed roach.
Fast:
- Faster than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking competition.
Not Naïve
- This ain’t my first rodeo.
Broke
- So broke, I can’t pay attention.
Easy
- It was a bird's nest on the ground.
Kids
- Crumb snatchers
Messed up or crooked
- Wonky
- All jacked up
- Katty-wampus
Not Smart
If someone isn't so smart we also say that
- He's dumber 'n a coalbucket.
- The light's on but nobody's home.
- The elevator don't quite reach the top.
- She's dumber than a bag of hammers.
and we can't forget:
- He couldn't tell his a** from a hole in the ground.
-
He's half a brick short of a load.
Thanks to readers who contributed to this collection of Southernisms
I'd like to thank all of the readers who commented on my first article on funny Southern sayings and who made this article possible by contributing the Southernisms above. If you haven't already read my flagship article on Funny Southern Sayings, well be sure to click on the link below for a rib tickling read:
So there you go, boys and girls. I hope you've enjoyed this list of Southernisms courtesy of my favorite readers and writers.
Y'all come back now!
Questions & Answers
What is a funny Southern expression for talking?
A few expressions for talking freely are: Running off your mouth; flapping your lips; loose lips; spouting off. I'm sure there are many more.
Helpful 5What is a Southern expression for super slow drivers?
"If they were going any slower, they'd be going backwards."
Helpful 4
Comments
Idle talking. - "Rattling like an empty wagon."
Showing a problem to someone smarter than you to get help. "Can.t make hide nor hair of this."
Ones inability to find something lost,ever. "You couldn't find a flea on a grandpas knee."
where and what is the expression ''appreciate you''??
I'm from SC right on the GA line and I've got a few to add to your list ☺
busier than a one armed wallpaper hanger- (really busy) loud enough to wake the dead-(extremely loud) Gettin' all gussied up-(dressed up) Got me riled up-(made me real mad) You're right smart-(you ain't dumb) My belly is eating my backbone-(so hungry) Heapin' helpin- (big plate full) Something is rurrnt (ruined)- Drink from a hosepipe- (hose outside the house) Useful as a football bat-(useless) It was a big to-do- (Big Show off/Party) You whisper like a mac truck-(talkin' loud) Crooked as a dog's hind leg-(can't trust) Done Fell Off- Starved half stupid- (crazy from hunger) You can't get there from here-(Directions/ Roads don't run over there) Older than dirt-(Really old) Got to put my face on (makeup) -The truth ain't in ya (liar) - Get on the big road (main road in town) -Hard dog to keep under the porch (cheater) Talking out both sides of your mouth (saying 2 different things) Burning Daylight (wasting time) -Tell the truth & shame the devil (truthful) Tote (carry something) They live in the sticks (way out of town) Mash it (push the button) Graveyard Dead (really dead, or in the grave) Dark thirty (a little after sunset)
Well bury me upside-down in a bucket of Horse Douvres!
I never realized how much of these I used!!! I'm from the south (Georgia), and I was just going to send a friend of mine in another country something to help explain the meaning behind my sayings. I began to beam with pride.
Thanks for reminding me that my heritage is something to be kinda proud of. I'm glad that I got to read over all these, and think they're all a hoot! Y'all just made my day.
'The devils beating his wife!" Also seen as "the devil's gettin' married!"- used when it's raining while the sun is still out. I'm not sure whom/where I picked these badboys up from, since my family's from Texas and Michigan, but I do know they're mostly used in certain parts of Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama.
Howdy! Thank you kindly for this lovely list of southernisms. I don't feel like gems such as these are used enough in our modern day so as a teenager I try to incorporate some of them in my speech, and they can make for some mighty humorous moments! I ain't know if this is particularly southern but an ol' favorite of mine I learned from my gramps. "I got more problems than Carl's got liver pills!" Though I heard him switch out problems for other words before. Anyway thank you kindly for makin' this!
A frog wouldn’t bump his ass if he’d grow wings.
Say this when someone gives you an excuse
"Do that again and I'll snatch you baldheaded!"
"You look like the little boy the calf butted!" (bad haircut or clothes in disarray, etc.)
My parents were from the South and used many of the sayings you have listed. The two quoted here were used by me raising my children as well, Is anyone else familiar with them?
Those two are closer than pupils on a cross-eyed gnat!
Thank you so much Stephanie, I was directed here from Facebook and have really enjoyed reading all the phrases that I grew up with and are still being used, as a matter of fact, I still use a lot of them myself!
My Dear Grandmother, God rest her soul, would always let us know when she went to the bathroom that it would be ok to go in after she finished, because she was only going to "Branch" not have a "Blowout!"
I so love the South!
I have lived my entire life in he deep South. (A very long time) or a "Coon's age" So I have seen and heard almost all of these. There are a few that I didn't see.
* You can get glad in the same britches you got mad in!
* I don't know if I am washing or hanging out! (I still use this on Monday mornings!)
* Shakin like a dog sh**ing peach seeds.
* I'm colder than a witch's tittie with a brass bra on
* Diarrhea so bad you can sh*t through a screen door
* That went over like a turd in a punch bowl.
* Tough or long row to hoe.
* So hungry my big guts are eating my little guts
* Smaller than a gnats ass
* He don't have enough sense to come in out of the rain
* She's so skinny she has to run around in the shower to get wet.
* Let's don't beat a dead horse
* She learned how to whisper in a saw mill.
* If someone was in nursing school or whatever for instance, It was said that "She was making a nurse"
* When you were planning on eating at someone's house for Thanksgiving, or any holiday, The old folks would say, "Are you taking Thanksgiving with "who ever""
* Cuter than a red wagon full of speckled pups.
Can someone tell me what it means when a man tells a woman "you're smooth as duck butter." This man was born in Orlando Florida and he says he's from the deep south.
No one ever said this is a rule, but as a yungin, I observed that southern women could say anything about any one as long as you ended it with "bless their heart" She dresses like a slut, bless her heart.
About an expensive store
My mom would say, Their prices were as high as a cat's back.
More nervous than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs
More confused than a cricket in a hub cap
Worse off than a half fucked Fox in a forest fire
I love Virginia hahaha
"Busier than a one-armed monkey with two peckers" always made me laugh.
one my grandma always says is "she threw a hissy conniption with a crocheted tail" also another that my great grandfater always said was, "Cant never could do a damn thing." A coworker once said she was "hungry enough to eat the landin' gear out a buzzard" and my great grandma would say "taint' hard just tedious"
I've also heard the following:
"Cuter than a bug's ear" (little and cute)
"Knee high to a grasshopper" (short)
"More scarce than hen's teeth" (rare)
"Madder than an ole wet hen" (very mad)
"Pinchin' pennies til they scream" (tight with money)
"Crooked as a dog's hind leg" (a shady person)
Here's a few sayins ya ain't seen on here
Ain't worth a hill-a-beans (ain't worth nothin)
Ain't got a Canndles chance in hell (ya ain't got a chance)
What about, "Gimme some sugar", when your Grandma or other woman wants kisses and hugs. Usually asked of little ones only.
Lord willin and the creek don't rise means: A high probability for an event to occur
My mom used to say, "If you keep that up I am going to stomp a mud hole in you and walk it dry."
Love this!!!
Thought I might add, "... Back when Moby Dick was a guppy!" referring to knowing someone for a long time.
I love these Southernisms .. they reveal a good down-to-earth sense of humour. There's also a very refreshing sense of level-headedness that strikes me even though I'm from Europe.
Incidentally, I've always wondered why in every American song that involves a train ride, the train is *always* heading South. Nobody ever sings about travelling up North ... they're forever heading down to Dixie. It's almost as if the South is everyone's roots and "home".
I tell ya that thar is finer'n frog hair split four ways! I laughed m'self silly readin' all there h'yar sayin's on how we speak down yonder on t'farm.
Bless yur heart!
I'm not from the South, and neither are my folks. But between stuff my folks used to say, and hearing these funny expressions from others, quite a few of these Southernisms are familiar. I guess they have slowly made their way across the Mason-Dixon line ...
One of my faves is from Steel Magnolias: "You know I'd rather walk on my lips than criticize anybody ..." (Which is, of course, the opposite of true! )
And then there's radio personality Roy D. Mercer: "How 'bout I open up a can of whup-ass on ya?"
Thanks for a fun tour of Southern eloquence.
My father always used a lot of these when I was growing up, though with some slight variations. For instance: 'Colder 'n a witch's tit 'n Alaska' which I learned later originally referred to an oil well in Alaska, and 'Cold enough to freeze the ball's off'n a brass monkey' which is actually an old naval saying referring to iron cannon balls stacked on a brass frame with wheels. Apparently, brass contracts faster than iron so when it got really cold the balls would fall off and roll around the deck. Oh, and I'll add another I didn't see here, 'Stinking to High Heaven!' which could refer to something very smelly or something/someone/a deal not to be trusted. --Thanks for this site! Loved the trip down memory lane.
I have only heard a couple of these before, although I think that there are some great ones to know in this article.
Here's a few I ain't seen on here.. Ther purty bad haha.
Slicker than snot on a handrail
Or
Slicker than minners dick
He don't know beans from bullsh*t
Hotter than a possums cod
I'll thump your wig (which means imma whoop ur ass)
Happier than a hog eatin slop
I'm starved half stupid ( which means I'm reeeeaaalllly hungry)
I remember the first time my husband took me to see his grandmother. She kept telling him about a woman who "fell off". When we got in the car, I asked, "What did that woman fall off of and is she alright?" He explained that it meant she lost weight.
Hurry up y'all; yer slower'n dead lice!
Hahahaha in love.Man, i can't breath. Hshaha kisses from a fan here in Spain!
You missed the most important one....ROLL TIDE YALL
When my grandmother and mother got frustrated they would always say that we were "as useless as tits on a bull".
Yankee expressions....hmmmm, well Stephanie, here in my part of NY State, 90% of our expressions are profanity ad they're directed at POLITICIANS!!! LOL
Stephanie, I would encourage you to do a hub on Yankee expressions. I don't get up north very often, so I would love to read them. We love humor of any kind down here in the South.
Stephanie.....I'm so glad I came across this older hub! I love it. Thanks for the good, healthy laugh.
I have some friends who came from the deep South and they are quite a source of entertainment due to their accent and expressions!
Great hub, Stephanie...Up+++
Well, I reckon that's mighty neighborly of you to say so, if your picking up what I'm putting down? I gotta say it is more the way they say it than what they say that tickles my fancy.
Its like a British accent, everybody loves they way the Brits talk and I just love the way Southerners express themselves.
C'mon y'all, I'll carry you to the Piggly Wiggly!
As a transplanted Southerner, I am always entertained at work by all the sayings that these folks have and came across your article when searching for sayings about how hot it is. I'm thinking that 'slap your momma' could work for how hot it is, 'cuz if I ever slapped my momma she would be hot.
Having lived here for ten years and just recently bought a house in the country of Tennessee, folks are saying that I need to work on my 'over yonders' and 'reckons'. Now I may never be so country I think a seven course meal is a possum and a six pack but when in Rome . . . I reckon ya gotta talk like a Greek or something like that.
Now I don't live over yonder in the holler,and you won't find grits on my plate but I reckon I can throw in y'all and shonuff once and a while.
Someone who is not very smart:
He's not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.
Someone who is frugal:
He's tighter than a tick's ear
Thoroughly enjoyed your Hub and your reader comments.
This was sooooo funny, and was a delightful way to get insight into southern culture. Great hub. And now I know, there is no cream in buttermilk. Furthermore, having killed a few roaches with alcohol, I appreciate the saying, "acting crazier than a sprayed cockroach." Excellent hub.
You look like death suckin' on a lifesaver.
You make my a-- want to suck a lemon.
Same Song, Second Verse.
Six of one, half dozen of the other.
Tighter than Dick's hat band.
Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
I love these!! It reminds me of the strange German slang my Grandpa used to use when I was a kid. Each culture, region, etc has their own sayings, words and phrases that are unique.
...i teach the Yanks to say, "ya'll come back now, ya hear?"
Thanks for this hub. What a delight to read. Great contributors here.
One of my favorites that my Granny used to say was "I wouldn't mess with that ole boy. He looks like he could beat a bear with a switch". When I was in trouble, my Mom used to say we were about to have a "come to Jesus meeting". And for those days that are just too much you can say "I don't know if I found a rope or lost a horse". Also someone who complained too much, you would say "they would bitch if they were hung with a new rope".
A sixteen year military (Army) wife, I lived in the South for ... seventeen years...
I have heard most all of these expressions in that time...
brought back warm and dear memories
and brought a broad smile to my face!
Thank you for this... again, delightful!
Having grown up in Mississippi, I could soooo relate to your hub and all these comments. Many of them brought back fand memories of childhood.
I just thought of another one that I still hear, but I don't recall seeing in your hubs. I think it is also a common saying in the West. "He came at me." It differs from "he came toward me" which means that someone is traveling in your direction, but you paths may not intercept. "He came at me" means there was a collision or there will be unless you manage to get out of the way. After an accident you might hear someone say, "officer, he came at me so fast I couldn't stop."
It can also mean that something is charging you. "The bull came at me so fast I had to jump the fence."
Just thought of this one when I saw someone "coming at me" in heavy traffic. Thankfully, he saw me in time and stopped because I couldn't have gotten out of his way.
Yes, I did! I did enjoy this one! *chuckle*
I also think that a “buggy” in the UK means the same- a shopping cart. Hmm...interesting! And, I hope no one takes Marcy Goodfleisch' words literally: "I'll kill you & swear you died" and "If you don't stop, I'll tear your arm off and beat you to death with the bloody stump." -- or it could mean real trouble. Lol! :)
Thank you for this very entertaining read on this beautiful Saturday afternoon that I am home.
Here are a few more Southern gems:
Hoopty (old car)
They're having a big to-do at the church tonight!
Whoopin' and a-hollerin'
Heeeerrre, chick, chick, chick! chick! (calling chickens)
I am hungry enough to bite a hook. Actually, I could eat a wet mule.
Soo-ee! Soo-ee! (calling hogs)
He's as drunk as Cooda Brown.
___________________
"Vittles will be on the table in a minute, Paw."
"What we having, hon?
"Milk'n braid.
I enjoyed all!
Howdy Stephanie (Stephanie Henkel) -
Enjoyed the funny sayings. One of my favorite sayings is the one I bumped into on my first venture into the southern states...
"Y'all c'mon back, heah?" That was an impressive introduction to southern hospitality.
Gus :-)))
I felt like I was watching an episode of Reba while I was reading some of these sayings! I also noticed a few of these sayings just from a trip to the grocery store. Haha! Awesome hub! :)
Being from the down here in the land of those who have a twang, I have heard many of these but like having them readily accessible so I amaze, annoy, and astound my friends and family :)
Keep 'em coming, Stephanie. :) ps Angels are on the way this evening.
I love reading all these "southern sayings"! Being from Texas and Oklahoma, I have heard almost all of them! I may have to use some of the new ones! Thanks for sharing all of these! (My hubby couldn't believe I actually explained the "dry farts" saying! LOL Voted this up and more! :)
Love this second edition as much as I loved the first one.
When I moved from NY to Delaware a decade ago, I was in the habit of always being in a rush and my new friends told me to, "Take it easy. You're in lower, slower, Delaware, now." LOL
I much prefer the southern way of taking things slow and easy.
Hub Hugs,
Gail
My grandma use to have a Southern saying about girls in the cotton fields with boys. For the life of me I can't think of what she said. I keep hoping my mother or aunts will remember. Cute hub enjoyed it.
LMAO...I swear, Stephanie, I almost wet my pants laughing at this one. Some I have heard but, being a Northerner, most I had not heard, and they are too damn funny! We have some comedians on HubPages for sure, but nothing is as funny as the real life stuff that these Hubbers came up with. Thank you for a great, great laugh!
LoL I had to laugh at these and although I'm from the midwest I've heard a great number of them. I did have distant relatives that were from more southern areas. I remember hearing once someone was "sharp as a bowlin ball" lol that stuck with me. So many of these made me laugh and my mom would always talk about people being a few bricks shy of a load when I was growing up :) lol very funny voted up and shared.
Oh my goodness! So funny! When I moved here to NC, I had such trouble understanding people. Now my own family in Colorado says I sound like I'm from the South. LOL. I've heard many of those sayings. Round here in Western NC, I hear "I'm gone do that" or "jab at it, with a pointy stick!" I've heard a bunch...I knowed I did. ;)
Stephaine, this was so entertaining! I really enjoyed reading all of these great sayings. I'm going to make it a point to read the other hub as well. My grandmother had a favorite one when referring to her childhood,
we were so poor, we didn't have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out from.
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