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Funny Southern Sayings, Expressions, and Slang

Updated on May 10, 2015
Whatcha gonna do when the crick runs dry?
Whatcha gonna do when the crick runs dry? | Source

Translating Southern Sayings

As a transplanted Yankee living in the South, I am often surprised and amazed by the colorful Southern things I hear. Of course, there are the good old standbys we all know and love, like "y'all" and "down yonder." But the richness of Southern speech goes far beyond one or two-word expressions and there's a Southern expression for every occasion.

While their images and colloquialisms tickle the funny bone, Southern expressions usually convey exactly what the speaker intended. No one can mistake the intent and meaning of "I'm going to jerk a knot in your tail!" On the other hand, there are some Southernisms that it might take a Yankee like me years to figure out without a translator.

For example, here is an expression I've never ever heard above the Mason-Dixon line: "That possum's on the stump!" (Translation: That's as good as it gets!)

Or this one: "His heart is a thumpin' gizzard." (Translation: He's cold-hearted and cruel.)

Whether you are from another part of the country or from another country altogether, I hope you enjoy this collection of Southern sayings.

Pitching a hissy fit.
Pitching a hissy fit. | Source

When a Southerner Gets Angry:

  • He's got a burr in his saddle.
  • His knickers are in a knot.
  • She's having a hissy fit.
  • She has a hissy fit with a tail on it. (When she’s more pissed off.)
  • He has a duck fit. (One step above a hissy fit.)
  • She has a dying duck fit. (Translation: Run and hide!)

Southern Sayings About Bad Character:

  • You're lower than a snake's belly in a wagon rut.
  • He's slicker'n owl sh*t.
  • She’s meaner than a wet panther.
  • He's a snake in the grass.
  • Why, that egg-suckin' dawg!

When Southerners Are Busy:

  • I been running all over hell's half acre.
  • She's busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor.
  • I'm as busy as a one-legged cat in a sandbox.
  • Busier than a moth in a mitten!

Running like a headless chicken.
Running like a headless chicken. | Source

Southern Sayings About Conceit and Vanity:

  • She's so stuck up, she'd drown in a rainstorm.
  • She’s stuck up higher than a light-pole.
  • She has her nose so high in the air she could drown in a rainstorm.
  • He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow.

(Most of these comments are made about women. Apparently, Southern men are not stuck up.)

Southern Expressions About Being Cheap:

  • He squeezes a quarter so tight the eagle screams.
  • He's tighter than a bull’s ass at fly time.
  • Tighter than a flea’s ass over a rain barrel.
  • He’s so cheap he wouldn’t give a nickel to see Jesus ridin’ a bicycle.

Southern Phrases About Being Broke or Poor:

  • Too poor to paint, too proud to whitewash.
  • I'm as poor as a church mouse.
  • I'm so poor I can't afford to pay attention.
  • He was so poor, he had a tumbleweed as a pet.
  • I couldn’t buy a hummingbird on a string for a nickel.
  • I’m so poor I couldn’t jump over a nickel to save a dime.
  • He doesn't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of.

Too poor to paint, too proud to whitewash.
Too poor to paint, too proud to whitewash.

Dressed Too Scantily? They Will Say:

  • Those pants were so tight I could see her religion.
  • You're gonna have old and new-monia dressed like that!
  • Lawd, people will be able to see to Christmas!
  • Law, pull that down! We kin see clear to the promised land!

Southerners Experiencing a Drought Might Say:

  • It's so dry the trees are bribing the dogs.
  • I swan, you all musta pissed God off somehow. It’s drier than a popcorn fart ‘round these parts. (Translation: Ya got me... I don't know what a popcorn fart is!)

Confused? In the South, They Might Say:

  • He doesn't know whether to check his ass or scratch his watch.
  • He couldn't find his ass with both hands in his back pockets.
  • He's about as confused as a fart in a fan factory.
  • She's lost as last year's Easter egg.

(As we Yankees say, "These people don't know which way is up.")

Well, that just DILLS my PICKLE!
Well, that just DILLS my PICKLE!

Southerners Know Happiness When They See It:

  • He's as happy as if he had good sense.
  • Happier than ol' Blue layin' on the porch chewin' on a big ol' catfish head.
  • Happy as a dead pig in the sunshine. (Translation: Apparently pretty happy.)
  • Grinnin' like a possum eatin' a sweet tater.
  • Well that just dills my pickle.

Expressions About Laziness:

  • Won't hit a lick at a snake. (Translation: So lazy he wouldn’t chase a snake away.)
  • He's about as useful as a steering wheel on a mule.

Colloquialisms for Unmentionables:

"Over-the-shoulder boulder holders." (Translation: A very large bra.)

Over-the-shoulder boulder holder?
Over-the-shoulder boulder holder?

Irritation Brings Out Some Creative Southern Expressions:

  • She gets my goose.
  • He just makes my ass itch!
  • Yankees are like hemorrhoids: Pain in the butt when they come down and always a relief when they go back up.
  • That would make a bishop mad enough to kick in stained glass windows.
  • She could make a preacher cuss!
  • She could piss off the pope.
  • If you don't stop that crying, I'll give you something to cry about!
  • She could start an argument in an empty house.
  • He's about as useless as a screen door on a submarine/a trapdoor on a canoe.
  • That makes about as much sense as tits on a bull.
  • Quit goin' around your ass to get to your elbow.

Colorful Southern Expressions About Liars:

  • Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's rainin'!
  • Don't pee down my back and tell me it's raining.
  • That dog won't hunt.
  • You're lyin' like a no-legged dog!
  • If his lips's movin', he's lyin'.
  • You’d call an alligator a lizard.
  • That man is talking with his tongue out of his shoe.
  • He's as windy as a sack full of farts.

(The most creative expression about liars I've heard in the North is "Lying like a rug." Southerners have much more colorful ways of accusing a liar.)

Southernisms About Stupidity:

  • If that boy had an idea, it would die of loneliness.
  • The porch light's on, but no one's home.
  • He's only got one oar in the water.
  • If brains were leather, he wouldn't have enough to saddle a junebug.
  • He's so dumb, he could throw himself on the ground and miss.
  • He hasn't got the sense God gave a goose.
  • When the Lord was handin' out brains, that fool thought God said trains, and he passed 'cause he don't like to travel.
  • His brain rattles around like a BB in a boxcar.
  • There's a tree stump in a Louisiana swamp with a higher IQ.
  • So dumb he couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the instructions written on the heel.
  • He don't know s**t from shinola. (Now this one I've heard in New Jersey....)
  • If his brains were dynamite, he couldn’t blow his nose.

He is so dumb, he could throw himself on the ground and miss.
He is so dumb, he could throw himself on the ground and miss.

Surprised Southerners Might Come Out With This:

These are probably some of my very favorites!

  • Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit.
  • Well, slap my head and call me silly!
  • You little cotton-picker!

When Something Smells Really Bad, a Southerner Says:

  • He smelled bad enough to gag a maggot.
  • Something smells bad enough to knock a dog off a gut wagon.

If You Hear These Southern Expressions, You Better Watch Out:

Either somebody's in real trouble, or there's a fight brewing if you hear...

  • I'm gonna cut your tail!
  • I’m gonna jerk her bald!
  • Keep it up and I'll cancel your birth certificate.
  • I am going to jerk a knot in your tail.
  • You don’t know dip sh** from apple butter!
  • Me-n-you are gonna mix.
  • You don't watch out, I'm gonna cream yo' corn.
  • You better give your heart to Jesus, 'cause your butt is mine.
  • I'll slap you to sleep, then slap you for sleeping.
  • I’m gonna tan your hide.
  • I'll knock you into the middle of next week looking both ways for Sunday!
  • I'll knock you so hard you'll see tomorrow today.

I'm going to jerk a knot in your tail.
I'm going to jerk a knot in your tail.

Southern Expressions for Speed (Fast or Slow):

  • Faster than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking competition.
  • Faster than green grass through a goose.
  • Faster than a hot knife through butter.
  • Slower than a Sunday afternoon.
  • You took as long as a month of Sundays.
  • We're off like a herd of turtles.
  • He ran like a scalded haint. (I don't know what a "haint" is, but apparently a scalded one can run really fast!)
  • It happened faster than a knife fight in a phone booth.

Ugly or Looking Bad?

Now these are really unkind, but funny as heck!

  • He's so ugly, he didn't get hit with the ugly stick, he got whopped with the whole forest!
  • He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
  • So ugly she’d make a freight train take a dirt road.
  • So ugly he’d scare a buzzard off a gut pile.
  • She's so ugly I'd hire her to haunt a house!
  • If I had a dog as ugly as you, I'd shave his butt and make him walk backwards.
  • She is so ugly, her face would turn sweet milk to clabber.

When the ugliness is just temporary:

  • I feel like I've been chewed up and spit out.
  • I feel like I been 'et by a wolf and sh** over a cliff.
  • He looks like ten miles of bad road.
  • You look like you've been rode hard and put up wet!

When Southerners Are Well Fed, They Are:

  • Fat as a tick.

If he were an inch taller, he'd be round.
If he were an inch taller, he'd be round.

Southern Observations About Weight:

  • He's so skinny, if he stood sideways and stuck out his tongue, he'd look like a zipper.
  • She's so skinny, you can't even see her shadow.
  • She's spread out like a cold supper.
  • If he were an inch taller, he'd be round.

Of the Wealthy:

  • Sh**tin’ in high cotton.
  • He's richer'n Croesus.
  • He's so rich he buys a new boat when he gets the other one wet.

A Hungry Southerner Says:

  • I'm so hungry my belly thinks my throat's been cut.
  • I could eat the north end of a south-bound polecat.
  • I'm so hungry I could eat the north end of a south-bound goat.

Colorful Expressions About the Weather:

Like some of the other Southern phrases, a few of these might not be appropriate in mixed company.

  • Colder than a well digger's butt in January.
  • It was colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra.
  • That rain was a real frogwash.
  • It rained like a cow pissin' on a flat rock.
  • Hotter than blue blazes.
  • It's colder than a penguin's balls.
  • It’s hotter than two rabbits screwin’ in a wool sock!
  • It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a pool table.
  • Colder than a banker's heart on foreclosure day at the widows' and orphans' home.
  • It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch.
  • It's cold enough to freeze the tit off a frog.
  • It is hotter than a jalapeño's coochie.

All-Purpose Southern Expressions We Couldn't Do Without:

  • Y'all.
  • All y'all.
  • Down yonder.
  • Bless your pea-pickin' little heart!
  • Kiss my go-to-hell.

  • I wouldn't walk across the street to piss on him if he was on fire.
  • If you can't run with the big dogs, stay under the porch.
  • Why so sad? Did Chevrolet stop makin’ trucks?
  • Deep in the South where sushi is still called bait.
  • He's about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
  • That sticks in your throat like a hair in a biscuit.
  • You’re so fulla s**t your eyes are brown.
  • He was as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a roomful of rocking chairs.
  • He couldn't carry a tune if he had a bucket with a lid on it.

The Southern word for "sushi" is "bait."
The Southern word for "sushi" is "bait."

Southern Slang

Word
Part of Speech
Translation
Example
bread basket
noun
stomach
His bread basket is bigger than a bread basket, if you know what I mean.
britches
noun
pants
HIs britches are so tight they make his legs look like hot dogs.
cattywampus
adjective
askew or awry; cockeyed
The storm knocked the clothes on the clothesline all cattywampus!
fetch/fetching
verb/adjective
go get/good looking
I'm gonna fetch me the most fetching filly I can find.
fixin'
verb
getting ready
I'm fixin' to fix the porch door after I finish this sweet tea.
gussied up
adjective
dressed up; fancy
She's so gussied up you'd think it was a beauty contest.
hankerin'
verb or noun
hunger or yearning
I have a hankerin' for biscuits and gravy.
highfalutin'
adjective
fancy, pompous, or pretentious
He's so highfalutin' he thinks his sh*t tastes like sherbert.
lick
noun
a small amount
I can't hear a lick with all this hooplah.
piddlin'
adjective or verb
fiddling, puttering, or pottering around
Quit your piddlin' and get to work!
plumb
adjective
entirely, completely
She's plumb crazy.
ruckus
noun
a disturbance or commotion
He made such a ruckus he woke the possums.
skedaddle
verb
run away; hurry
You better skedaddle before you get caught!
uppity
adjective
haughty, arrogant
He's so uppity he deserves a PhD in snobbery.
whup
verb
whip or beat
I'm gonna whup you where the sun don't shine!

Southern Expression Poll

How many of these southern sayings have you heard?

See results
Did she just fall off the turnip truck?
Did she just fall off the turnip truck?

That's All She Wrote...

Well, that's all she wrote, y'all. I've looked all over hell and half of Georgia to find the best and funniest Southern sayings for all y'all, and I sure hope they tickled you as much as they tickled me.

And if y'all have any more fine Southern sayings, well, bless yer pea pickin' hearts, just let 'er rip, tater chip, and jot them down in the comments section below. I'm just happier than a dead pig in sunshine to have all y'all visiting me here today and taking the time to sit awhile and share your thoughts.

If you enjoyed this, be sure to visit "More Funny Southern Sayings and Southernisms from Readers."

Copyright ©2015 Stephanie Henkel

Yankees just can't pass for Southerners!

Well, we try...
Well, we try... | Source

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    • Stephanie Henkel profile image
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      Stephanie Henkel 3 weeks ago from USA

      Ruth Ann, Thanks for the laugh! I need to remember that one as there are so many times it would be appropriate!

    • Stephanie Henkel profile image
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      Stephanie Henkel 3 weeks ago from USA

      Now there's a new one, Btb31!

    • profile image

      Ruth Ann 3 weeks ago

      I haven't read one of my favorites from my Texan mom. She said, "You need to pull your head out before you sit down and break your neck."

    • profile image

      Btb31 3 weeks ago

      Harder than nailin a poached egg to a tree

      You're not the only pig in the poke

    • profile image

      mrs.moleman 3 weeks ago

      A haint is a ghost. Most old southern homes look haunted or are haunted and traditionally have a blue porches. That color is called 'haint blue'.

      And...

      Kill em' hammer dead.

      She's crazy as a moon bat, or she's moon bat.

      Crazy as a runt over dog.

      Stuck together like a couple of lovebugs.

      Quit your hollerin'.

      Happier than a pig in shit.

    • Stephanie Henkel profile image
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      Stephanie Henkel 4 weeks ago from USA

      Thanks so much Whitney Overstreet! You made my day! :)

    • profile image

      Whitney Overstreet 4 weeks ago

      I am GA born and raised and now raising my own here still. This was one of the funniest blogs I've ever read! And so true! Love it!

    • Larry Slawson profile image

      Larry Slawson 8 weeks ago from North Carolina

      Haha, I really enjoyed your article! :) Thanks for sharing.

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      Jean McDermott 2 months ago

      I really enjoyed this article. My folks are from AL and TN. I grew up with these expressions and use some of them myself.

    • profile image

      musclemutt 2 months ago

      Believers in voodoo keep spirits away by painting the house haint blue, a color sort of like electric blue.

      And "Those pants were so tight I could see her religion," only makes sense if you say it about a man, religion traditionally being associated with circumcision in earlier times.

      My friend Kenny had a load of sayings from up in the mountains, like "easier than pullin a greased string through a goose."

    • profile image

      gerrielynn 2 months ago

      Cute! This brought plenty of smiles and even a laugh or two! Thanks for the fun article!

    • profile image

      Carol Romine 2 months ago

      "He wouldn't be happy if He was hung with a silk rope." A very unhappy fellow! :)

    • Stephanie Henkel profile image
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      Stephanie Henkel 4 months ago from USA

      Talmage Jordan - Never heard it before, but I like that one!

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      Talmage Jordan 5 months ago

      Mamaw (Grandmother) Jordan used to say, "He's knocking lost john."...sleeping!

    • profile image

      Ann Plicque 5 months ago

      Way down yonder in New Orleans, we say catty-cornered to mean diagonally across from a point. Never heard of any kind of wumpus. "That dog won't hunt," doesn't point out a liar, necessarily, but says a statement is a lie. There is a difference. But being a big port, we get people from all over. So our southernisms may be tainted. I've heard dumb as a bag of hammers, but have no idea where it came from. I use it all the time because the visual in my mind is hilarious. Version I heard is "rode hard and hung up wet," not to mean "ugly," but to mean beat up and worn out. Usually refers to cars and people. Though it is correct English word, based on middle English stave, meaning something about a boat repair, I also never heard, I'm stoved up, as meaning I'm too worn out, sore and beat up from overdoing something, I've gotta rest. I did hear from someone who grew up in Lafayette with Jackson, Miss. ties "He's like bad grass, you just can't kill him." We were talking on the phone and I told him to shut up while I laughed for a solid three or four minutes. Then he said, real coolly, "You liked that, didn't ya." Which made me laugh hard again. And if it was never an expression, "You can't fix stupid," should be. Ron White is great.

    • Stephanie Henkel profile image
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      Stephanie Henkel 6 months ago from USA

      Joyce Bragg Cosra - That's a new saying! Thanks!

    • profile image

      Joyce Bragg Cosra 6 months ago

      My Mother use to say to my sister and me when it was time to go to bed, "It is time to get ready to go to "Miss White's Party" . In other words, it is time to go to bed and get between the white sheets.

    • profile image

      SouthernBelle 6 months ago

      A 'haint' is a ghost. If you had read 'To Kill A mockingbird' in high school like we have to down here, you woulda known that!

      My momma also would say, when threatening to tan my hide, 'You'll be eatin' off the mantle for a week!'

      I am so blessed to have lived in the South all my life, so I knew just about all of those sayings!

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      Aristotelis Katsaros 6 months ago

      Awesome. Didn't know there was so many sayings in the south!

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      ButterBean 7 months ago

      She'd talk water uphill. I've eat so much chicken I'm fartin' feathers. It's fixin' to come a toad-strangler. Might as well stay--it's too wet to plow. Sloppy as watermelon juice in a bellybutton. He ain't got backin' up sense. Hide 'n watch. Jesus H. Christ in a sidecar... She's so purty I could eat the corn outta her $hit. She's so skinny she'd have to straddle the drain to keep from being sucked clean through. His butter's done gone and slipped off his biscuit. I could sop her UP with a biscuit. I could eat you with a spoon and not miss a drop. If I do, there'll be a band before me playin' Who the Hell'da Thought It. If I am there'll be a star in the far east. He could put his shoes under my bed any day of the week and twice on Sunday. Now...ya just gone done and done it, ain'tcha? You're givin' me a case of the red ass. I'm so skeerd my ass is makin' buttonholes. Sew him up in the bed sheet and beat him with a broom. Drunker 'n Cootie Brown. Meaner 'n a snake. Crazier than bat $hit. Ugly as a mud fence. Lord love a duck. Let's put on the dawg! That's larapin' good. (Criteria for "larapin" according to my MIL is that it must contain at least 2 of 3 ingredients: flour, sugar, or butter, and all 3 is guaranteed). Full as a fat tick on a fat dawg.

    • profile image

      William E. Lee 7 months ago

      In the line "He ran like a scalded haint." the "Haint" is a 'hen'

      Howver in the Southern Appalacian Mountain parts it can be a 'haunt.'

    • Stephanie Henkel profile image
      Author

      Stephanie Henkel 7 months ago from USA

      Thanks, Nathan, for your very cute comments! I'm so happy that my article made you feel finer than a frog's hair split four ways! LOL!

    • profile image

      Nathan 7 months ago

      Well, butter my biscuit, you did a good job. I use some of these with my girlfriend who is from Chicago and it makes her madder than a midget with a yo-yo. Sometimes I think she couldn't find her way out of a paper bag. This article makes me feel finer than frog hairs split four ways. Another one you missed when someone asks you if you like something, and you reply with, "Is a bullfrog water-proof?" Also, she's so sour if she smiled her face milk would curdle.

    • profile image

      Amy 7 months ago

      Not sure if this page is still monitored, but I came across it while searching for a fun way to tell my friends that I'm super happy today. I'm a southern girl, so it was like pulling teeth to find a saying that we don't already use. But non the less I got a good chuckle reading through the list.

      Anyway, I have a saying that didn't see listed about. It's a way of expressing how nervous you feel.

      "She's as jumpy as a virgin at a prison rodeo"... I nabbed that from an episode of Golden Girls. Blanche Deveroux said it. LOL!!!

    • profile image

      Flora C Rakes 8 months ago

      Thanks for a happy note in my day from a often homesick old Southerner.

    • profile image

      Jim 8 months ago

      I just found this so I'm not sure if it's still monitored, but one of my mom's favorite saying about a neighbor who was very unfriendly:

      "She's so mean, she goes bear huntin' with a switch (tree branch used for giving your child a whoppin)

    • profile image

      Spring 8 months ago

      Well I thank you hit the nail on the head I have heard and said so many of these since I was little

    • bodylevive profile image

      BODYLEVIVE 8 months ago from Alabama, USA

      I got a big kick out of this. I live in the south, Alabama. You;ve got some here I;ve never heard before, lol lol lol. I couldn't help but lol while I was reading this. Great job and I truly enjoyed reading and the lol.

    • profile image

      India Ingle 9 months ago

      does anyone know " love you ottles and bootles?

    • Stephanie Henkel profile image
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      Stephanie Henkel 9 months ago from USA

      Well, that certainly explains it, Gracie! But not a picture I really want to carry in my head! :)

    • profile image

      Gracie 9 months ago

      The thing about being as happy as a dead pig in the sunshine is because when the sun heats up the dead pig's skin, it draws up a bit or shrinks up a bit making the pig's face look like it's smiling

    • profile image

      Bob 10 months ago

      Full: My belly is as tight as a banjo string

      Faster than a scalded dawg

      Her taste is in her mouth

      Katy bar the door

      Mo' tea?

      Mawn back. (Directions to a driver in reverse)

      Beauty:

      Wouldn't throw her out of bed unless she had a preference for the floor

      she is so pretty I'd eat the corn outa her sh*t

    • profile image

      Kevin 10 months ago

      A "haint" Is a ghost.

      I'm a Virginia boy living in Louisiana. I love this list.

      Great list. A few seem more like someone's putting you on, but maybe it's just a regional thing within the south.

      Tan your hide and "I'll give you something to cry about" are not exclusive to the south. Brits and Midwesterners both say that. Or at least my in-laws and my Wisconsin born and bred grandmother say those.

    • profile image

      Will 11 months ago

      Frog strangler= bad rain storm

    • profile image

      Allen Rizzi 11 months ago

      Enjoyed this! We've heard most as transplants from Italy but I still can't get used to the word "impor-dand" - it must be very impor-dand in deed!

    • Stephanie Henkel profile image
      Author

      Stephanie Henkel 11 months ago from USA

      Jaycie, One of the things that most impressed me when we moved south was the very respectful way that children addressed adults. Our neighbor's little boy was taught from the time he could talk to say "yes, ma'am" and "yes, sir".

    • profile image

      Jaycie Revels 11 months ago

      I live in South Carolina and I have literally heard 3/4 of these sayings growing up. Some that we use in my town are:

      Its hot as hell or Its hot as the devils balls.

      Crank the car up.

      Chunk the sticks over there.

      Imma kick you where the sun don't shine.

      Imma knock you to tomorrow.

      And everytime we're told to do something by adults or people older than us we always say yes/no ma'am and yes/no sir.

    • Stephanie Henkel profile image
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      Stephanie Henkel 11 months ago from USA

      That's interesting, Peg Roach. I've only heard a similar saying from those of Irish descent.

    • profile image

      Peg Roach 11 months ago

      Did anybody hear their old timers say "Well fath & begorra!" ???? I was raised in Memphis & in NE Arkansas. As I recall it was used as a term like "WELL how do you like that!" or "Well I'll be darned!" Thanks.... and by the way, I'm almost 80, so I doubt any young things have heard this!

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      Thomas Allen 12 months ago

      Seen most of these and use quite a few ( I live in Ky) raised in ky, born in Missouri, parents from southern Illinois. My dad used to say

      Shape up or ship out

      It's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick

      My wife is from eastern ky and her and her family use a few I didn't see mentioned.

      Ugly as a mud fence

      Sleepy as a hound dog

      Rough as a cobb

      Messy as a soup sandwich

      Here are a few more,

      Drunk as a three eyed goat

      Dumb as a box of rocks

      That boys got two brain cells on one's on life support.

      Sober as a judge

      Hotter than a two dollar pistol

      The word " count" used as a replacement for "good"

      Is that any count?

      Enjoyed the article and the comments

    • shanmarie profile image

      shanmarie 13 months ago

      One of the best compilations of sayings I've seen. I'm pretty stumped too about that popcorn fart. Of course, I didn't learn half of these sayings until after I moved to Texas.

    • Stephanie Henkel profile image
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      Stephanie Henkel 13 months ago from USA

      Thanks, Terry! These sayings brought some vivid images to mind! :)

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      Terry Giboney 13 months ago

      As happy as a pig in slop!

      If you want to run with the big dogs, you have to learn to pee in tall grass!

    • Stephanie Henkel profile image
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      Stephanie Henkel 13 months ago from USA

      I sure am, Paula! Thanks!

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      Jimbo 13 months ago

      My mom's favorite when she was fed up with someone,....." She,(he) just makes my ass tired!" Still hear it to this day seeing some people!! Ha!!

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      Paula 13 months ago

      Well, Hot Damn, Stephanie! I'll bet yer grinnin like a possum eatin a sweet tater! CONGRATULATIONS!! Paula

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      Leslie Whited 13 months ago

      Granny, how're U today?

      "Oh, fine, fine as fizzledust."

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      Stephanie Henkel 13 months ago from USA

      Bravewarrior - Thanks so much! I was so honored and excited to see my name among the Hubbie Award winners!

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      Shauna L Bowling 13 months ago from Central Florida

      Congratulations on your 2016 Hubbie Award for this article, Stephanie! This hub is a hoot!

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      Stephanie Henkel 13 months ago from USA

      Farmfaerie - Thank you for your lovely note. As a Yankee, I know I don't clearly get Southern grammar and contractions. Your explanation is wonderful, and I'm sure that going back home to West Virginia and hearing the dialect and Southern sayings is like having Grandma's comfort food. There's no place like home!

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      Farmfaerie 13 months ago

      I enjoyed your listing of the language I grew up listening to and still use today. One that my older brother used on me when I was little & he wanted to tease me was, "you could puke a buzzard off a gut wagon." I imagine that would take something truly offensive! My favorite saying from my grandfather was, "you're slower than fog off sh#!"

      All sayings have to be imagined significantly shorter, having most of the "g's" removed. Words like "you're" are tightened up to become just "ur." There are also the fun grammatical games we play by making our own conjunctions, such as "sloer'n" in place of "slower than."

      I can certainly appreciate good grammar and am a personal fan of the Oxford comma, but when I go back home to West Virginia, I can drop all the trappings of proper pronunciation, have a glass of sweet tea, and relax into that southern rhythm of speech that is so familiar.

      Thanks again for walk down memory lane.

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      Stephanie Henkel 13 months ago from USA

      Thank you, Michelle, for some cute new Southern sayings from your Gran! I will definitely have to add these to my collection!

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      Michelle 13 months ago

      Hahaha... Thank you for the laughs! My Gran is from the South and I have grown up hearing her colorful witticisms and a few I've had to think over to figure them out. one of my favorites she uses is for someone without a lick of sense... "He has less sense than you could slap on a gnats a$$ with a butter paddle!" Or someone not worth your time, "He's nothing but a facified fart!", which on occasion has been followed with the prior comment! Oh, the side-splittin' laughs we've had.

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      Hanns 14 months ago

      My Pappy used this expression when talking to women: She's more purty then a little red wagon teeter totering up a crooked hill!

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      Before you were born 14 months ago

      I used to hear,

      That was before the train whistled for you

      You we're still in the cabbage patch and hadn't been picked yet.

      I am from the south but my family was USA BILINGUAL. Arkansas and Illinois then me Mississippi. I would love to know some more of this "before you were born " colloquialisms. Any idea what part of the country the two I mentioned are from?

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      Marilyn Combs 15 months ago

      My dad's been gone many years, and was a mid-west kid (Neraska), making his home in Montana. I have no idea where his saying came from, but in talking about a skiff of snow while visiting OR, yeaars ago, he said, "This snow doesn't amount to a pinch of powdered knat s**t!" (translation: very little snow). Thanks for the belly laughs!

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      Harley 15 months ago

      A haint is a spook or a ghost. Just so ya know ;) great collection!

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      JM 15 months ago

      My North Carolina-born g-ma told me the neighbor kid was "jus down the road a fur piece." Never did find her.

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      David Meek 16 months ago

      "Lord willing, and the crick don't rise!"

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      Katie Roe Thomas 17 months ago

      My husband and I've lived in Georgia all our lives. My kids are named Bubba, Jack Earl, and Georgia Rose. My gran-mamma used to tell yankees who had their kids below the Mason Dixin line, and they tried to call them "southerns". " Just cause your cat has kittens in the oven that don't make um biscuits!!!"

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      The Stages Of ME 18 months ago

      Love the picture of you on your Hub. I have lived in the North and the South, as a girl from PA. that married a Texan. Needless to say, I thoroughly enjoyed your hub. I had quite the giggle as I read.

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      Amber Lockheart 18 months ago

      this is hilarious. When I first moved to the south, I have to admit that I was confused by a lot of what I call ramblings.

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      Stephanie Henkel 19 months ago from USA

      Thank you for your kind words, Rolly. So many of these saying make me smile, too. I'm glad you enjoyed my hub!

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      Rolly A Chabot 19 months ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Stephanie Henkel... This had me rolling in laughter. I have lived in Canada the better part of my life, though I had opportunity to work and travel in the south. It was there I needed to retune my ears. Love many of those sayings, after a short while I found I fell right into it... Great post.

      Hugs from Canada

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      Catherine Mostly 19 months ago from Seattle, WA - USA - The WORLD

      What an adorable hub!! Really... You have not lived until you listen to Southern Folks talk to each other live and in-person. The movies don't do this creative version of our language justice, LoL!

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      Steph gauntt 21 months ago

      When talking of prices..."higher than a cat's back".

      When nervous... "Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs".

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      Doretta Jacobs 21 months ago

      Stupidity........ He's elevator does not go all the way to the top or his pack of peanut is not full..................and he/she is dumber than a sack of rocks

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      Doretta jacobs 21 months ago

      You slower than Molasses on a cold winter morning

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      Andrew Lawson 22 months ago from Knoxville, TN

      I was surprised when a friend from Ohio was confused that I was, "Fixin' to leave." I didn't really think anything of it. We are always fixin' to do stuff.

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      Cee-Jay Aurinko 22 months ago from Cape Town, South Africa

      I had a good laugh reading this Stephanie. Great post!

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      haint 22 months ago

      My southern mother said a " haint" is a ghost. Most likely a generational miss pronunciation of " saint" , " haunting saint" or spirit.

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      Samantha Ratliff 22 months ago from Mississipi

      Sad to say but yes us southerners are very grammatically ignant lol

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      Stephanie Henkel 22 months ago from USA

      MyMastiffPuppies - So glad you got a few smiles out of this hub. Thanks for reading and commenting!

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      MyMastiffPuppies 22 months ago

      Like music to my ears! Being from the south I have heard most of these although I will admit there were a few new ones I missed somewhere along the way. Excellent job on making it funny and carrying me down memory lane.

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      Stephanie Henkel 22 months ago from USA

      Jodah - That's interesting! Perhaps some of those common sayings go back much farther than we think? Thanks for stopping by to read and comment!

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      John Hansen 22 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Well Stephanie, the funny thing is I am from Australia and we use a hell of a lot of these sayings here..I guess we are down south though...way down south. Probably at least one or two of the sayings from each category are used here. We must have a lot in common with the Southern US states. Very funny hub though. I enjoyed the read.

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      Anne 23 months ago from Spain

      Some of these sayings are used in England too (but not many) Running round like a headless chicken or a scalded cock for instance. I love to hear this kind of talk on some of the TV shows I watch, say yes to the dress has me in stitches. Great hub BTW but for some reason I am unable to vote it up etc, do they still have this facility on HP?

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      karen 23 months ago

      I'm from Southwest Virginia ( not West Virginia) next to the Tennessee/ Kentucky borders and I 've heard most all of the sayin' mentioned here. I have no one mention. Not sure if its just in this area of the south or not. My Momma always used this one, She'd say (when we were in public and were acting up) to " Straiten up and act like somebody." I even used that with my own kids from time to time.

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      Audrey Hunt 23 months ago from Nashville Tn.

      I sure have enjoyed this hub Stephanie. Just what I needed to end my day and leave me with a big ol smile! Thanks a bunch.

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      Gloria Siess 23 months ago from Wrightwood, California

      This hub a real hoot! I grew up in Calif., but was raised by grandparents from Tennessee. Grandpa used to say, those prices were higher than a coons back!

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      David Lincoln Brooks 2 years ago

      Yep, a haint is an old Scottish word for a ghost.

      My Texas grandmother, when exasperated used to say, "Well, sh*t fire and save the matches!!"

      My Arkansas grand-dad used to say, "Well you just cain't win fer the losin', can ya?"

      She'd also say, "I got more worries than Carter's got pills."

      A Southern military expression: "Now get busy: I wanna see a$$holes and elbows." (ie., see you from behind as you run away from me to go work)

      "I'm gonna kick your @$$ so hard you're gonna taste the dewdrops on my boot."

      My Texas Dad used to say, if I had made a bad choice: "Now, son, in life you best not stick yer tally-whacker in a fan."

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      Cathy 2 years ago

      Swannie. MY Ma use to say that all the time. Instead of swearing, she would use swannie. "Well I swannie, you don't say."

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      Stephanie Henkel 2 years ago from USA

      Frank, I love this one! It's sure a new one on me. Thanks!

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      Frank 2 years ago

      You missed on of my grand-daddy's favorites: "That boy don't know fetch from go-sic'em" Translation: He's so dumb he doesn't know whether he's coming or going.

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      Roger37167 2 years ago

      Someone else probably already mentioned, it's "full as a tick" instead of "fat as a tick." And maybe even more specifically, "full as a tick on a hemophiliac."

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      Stephanie Henkel 2 years ago from USA

      Oh, my, Firstcookbooklady! You do sound like quite the expert on farts! LOL!

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      Char Milbrett 2 years ago from Minnesota

      oh, dear, the world going to hell in a hand basket... LOL, but A...HAH drier than a popcorn fart must be from my neck of the woods... them's the ones that you gotta watch out for.. like silent killer farts, or the opposite that itch when they dry... [popcorn farts will make your eyes water...]

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      Fox Music 2 years ago

      Thank you for sharing this FUN HubPage "Funny Southern Sayings, Expressions, and Slang"

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      Stephanie Henkel 2 years ago from USA

      Cygnetbrown - Ha ha! I know what you mean on that one! Somehow, my mind can't retain verbal directions. I sure am thankful for my iPhone in those cases.

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      Cygnet Brown 2 years ago from Springfield, Missouri

      One of my favorite sayings occurs when someone is giving me directions. "you can't miss it". Invariably, when I hear it, I prove the speaker wrong every time!

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      Arvin James Vicmudo 2 years ago from Philippines

      Cool, i work at an offshore contact center and most people i speak with said that i was a southerner though im asian, im guessin` its because of my constant use of ma`am and sir. These words would certainly expand my means of communication, especially for all folks in the southern area.

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      John D Wilson 2 years ago from Earth

      Good job, enjoyed the hub!

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      Mara Alexander 2 years ago from Los Angeles, California

      Great Hub Stephanie

      I'm from a Military family, and have lived all over the world, and all over the United States, and the only language that truly stumps me, is the Southern dialect. I think you have answered all of my questions, and more. Now I know what they were saying to me.

      Your hub gave me a few laughs, so thank you for sharing your knowledge of the southern language.

      Voted up, and awesome

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      Cheryl Simonds 2 years ago from Connecticut

      I've heard a lot of these before since we were in the south for a year or two, but you found a lot more that were really good. They made my day. Thanks for the giggles.

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      Kristen Howe 2 years ago from Northeast Ohio

      Stephanie, you're loaded with comments on this funny hub. I can imagine Jeff Foxworthy doing a comedy skit on these Southern sayings. Voted up for good laughs!

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      Stephanie Henkel 2 years ago from USA

      So glad you enjoyed reading my hubs! Thanks for the Tweet! I appreciate it.

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      Aladdins Cave 2 years ago from Melbourne, Australia

      I'm from Australia,

      your pages have been most funny. So good in fact, I had to tweet about it.

      Hopefully you will get some more readers today

      Cheers from DOWNUNDER

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      Audrey Hunt 2 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      A fun way to end my day. Thanks for posting these funny expressions.

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      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      This was fun!!! Happy Birthday!

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      Stephanie Henkel 2 years ago from USA

      Thank you, Sunshine! Yes, and I'm still working on the wine! :)