Coping With Life in a Foreign Country
You can enjoy your stay abroad by keeping a few things in mind.
Photo by Amanda Scharkss on Unsplash
Tips for Adapting to Life Somewhere New
Holidaying away from home is always fun and relaxing. That is probably because we know we have a warm home to get back to—familiar faces, familiar foods and familiar smells. Familiarity, in many ways, is comforting. Moving to another country, on the other hand, can be scary and unnerving.
Moving to a foreign country for work could be short-term or long-term. Often, people from less developed countries move to developed nations for better opportunities; this could well extend to a long stay. Often, people travel to a foreign country for studies and then seek employment in the same country. Sometimes, people from developed nations move to lesser developed nations for work-related reasons too.
Whatever the case may be, getting used to new surroundings and a new way of life is never easy. In my case, I moved to Japan from India. Many things in Japan, including transportation, were much more convenient. Japan was safer with cleaner air and water. All the same, I remember the lump I would feel rising up my throat each time I would say goodbye to my family in India when I would come to visit them from Japan.
If you find yourself in a foreign country, here are a few things you can do to make life easier for yourself.
Do a Bit of Research
It helps to read up a bit about the country you are planning to move to. Whether it is for a period of six months or six years, the fact is that you have to make it your home. And there would be no quick way to escape.
You could buy Lonely Planet guides for a thorough understanding of life there. You could spend some time on the internet to get a basic understanding of the country's culture – specifically of the city you will be moving to. Even within the same country, weather, culture and food habits could vary from state to state.
These are some of the very basic things that you could read up on before moving so things aren't a total surprise.
Be Reasonable in Your Expectations
Moving to a new country and expecting everyone around to welcome you with open arms or expecting everyone to be warm and nice all the time will lead to a lot of disappointment. People in Japan are overall very helpful and warm. However, I was in some unpleasant situations, too, during my stay there.
You could try to get in touch with other people from your country who might already be staying there to help you settle down. You could socialize with them and take their help to get comfortable with the place. Or, you could try to get help from colleagues at your place of work. They may be a little more open to helping you. Otherwise, you will pretty much end up on your own, at least for the initial weeks.
After the initial few weeks, you should try to make friends with the locals too, especially if you are planning to make the country your home for more than a year.
Avoid Badmouthing
Badmouthing goes both ways. There is no need to badmouth the country you are in. And there is no need to badmouth your homeland just to win someone's validation. Every country will have a good side and a bad side, and there is no need to discuss any of this with people in a foreign country in a way that isn't constructive.
People with different skin colors are seen differently in many countries, and there is not much that one can do about it. In the language school where I learned Japanese, many students would complain to my Japanese teachers about subtle racism in Japan. In reality, though, racism runs deep into one's psyche, and if we think hard, we could all be guilty of it.
Even within the same country, people from a particular state or city or an area within a city are often ridiculed and discriminated against—what is that, if not racism?
Every country you move to is culturally distinct and interesting in its own way; take the time to learn about it.
Be a Roman While in Rome
In Japan, I've noticed people speaking animated English, desperately hoping to get their message across to convenience store clerks. There is no point in blaming the locals for not knowing English. While there is no need to learn a language if you are just there on holiday, I'm not sure why people wouldn't attempt to learn the local language when they know they are staying for a long time.
Always follow the local rules. If people in the country are quiet inside public transport, you should do the same thing too. Or you could at least try to keep your voice low—as a way of showing respect to your host country. If jaywalking isn't done even when the road is deserted, you better wait for the pedestrian signal to turn green. If PDA and skimpy outfits are not the norm, try to avoid those. If they are the norm, try not to stare.
When it comes to a lot of cultural things, there is no right or wrong, and there is no need to get judgmental.
Learn and Teach
Learn about local news, events and traditions from the natives. People are always happy to talk about their country—though it's probably better to avoid icky topics and politics, even if you are on friendly terms with the person.
You could tell them about your country too. Often people are happy to hear about a country's unique culture and traditions. Every country is unique, and the conversation can be really pleasant and even enriching if meaningless comparisons and arguments are avoided.
There will be people who could make rude remarks about your country—I have faced them. Simply say, that's not the only thing about my country and refuse to get drawn into an argument.
Sometimes, a simple question like, "How many times have you visited my country?" does the trick too.
Final Words
Sometimes, despite all your efforts to blend in, you could be dealing with hostile neighbors and colleagues who give you a tough time. While hostile neighbors and difficult colleagues are a reality everywhere, it can be painfully hard to deal with in a foreign land. You end up feeling like an oddity and begin to miss the familiarity of your country and your friends and family there.
You could try to move to an area where there are more foreigners. You could also try to talk to your boss at work or landlord—yes, they could be natives too, but from experience, people try to empathize with you when you tell them you are feeling lonely. At least, that was my experience in Japan. They tried to include me in their lunch get-togethers and weekend outings.
Lastly, be kind to yourself. Living away from home is not for all. Deciding to move back to your homeland doesn't make you a lesser person.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2023 Anupama
